Technically an hour after the the first day of Hari Raya and neither my mind nor my heart is in a state which I would have liked it to be though not completely unexpected. I really wished that I could be happy yesterday (the 1st day of Hari Raya) but instead the only feeling that was and still is resonating within my chest is deep hurt and anguish. Honestly, I am shocked at how some people can be so hurtful when they are fully aware of how much pain they cause you to go through especially on significant days such as yesterday. Then again, its nothing new. In life, there will be always be people ready to hurt you and bring you down without even so much as a flinch or a nanosecond spent feeling guilty or remorseful. They do it because they are capable of it and because they see absolutely no wrong in themselves. They believe what they do is right and the best way to serve their own benefit and personal interest. Everyone else around them is dispensable and disposable. This kind of people are selfish in their own right and yet in the same instance can remain blissfully oblivious to how their selfishness affects others. Compromise is a foreign word to them. In their world, they are king.. everyone else is just another statistic.
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The next question would then be, how to deal with this sort of person. The answer is direct and simple although not necessarily easy to swallow. Truth be told, there is no use in trying to reach a settlement with these people.. once they dispose of you, they have pretty much made up their minds to get rid of you and there is nothing you can really say or do to change that. You can try, no doubt but after going through it personally and after seeing the experience of others going through it as well, it is best to just cut your losses and sever all ties. However, therein lies the hardest part of all since its sometimes difficult to walk away completely without glancing back once in awhile and wondering why things can't be worked out or why things can't just be talked out to settle all doubts and conflicts once and for all. Unfortunately, this is a major error as at this point, everything has gone past the limits of logic and reason. Whatever you have to say no matter how sincere or heartfelt will not get through but merely fall on deaf ears. In the end, you are just prolonging your own suffering by refusing or being unable to accept the fact that you are now sitting in a rubbish bin.
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The only comfort that one can get in this type of situation is just knowing that time heals all wounds. In time, every wound that is tearing your heart apart and eating through your flesh will begin to subside but one has to be patient in order for time to work its magic. Things might never be okay again with the person that hurt you so deeply (which is probably how you would want it to be a this point) but at least, there will no longer be any more pangs of pain in your chest caused by people that are so self involved with a world that revolves on their own imaginary axis.
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